A New Dialogue On Black Relationships

The Difference between males and Men, females and Women
By FX

The dialogue on Black relationships is inherently flawed due to the fact that the use of improper terminology has resulted in inaccurate analysis. Factor in the emotional aspect of the topic and Afrikans (African Americans especially) are immersed in repetitive diatribes that solve nothing. So such statements and lamentations as: "Men want women to submit to them", "Black women have attitudes", "All men are dogs", "Men do not want to commit", "women are emotionally unstable", “Black men ain’t shit”, “Black women are bitches”, “all men cheat” and others like them are examples of hurtful, misleading, false and potentially dangerous language.

The fundamental idea is this: there is a difference between a male and a Man, a female and a Woman. Historically Man means MIND, it is not a gender designation. Men and Women are IDEAS (with the understanding that the term "woman" must be redefined). Male and female are biological gender designations of the homosapien. This is beyond mere semantics because proper definitions will give one proper context and perspectives.

Taken beyond the biological reality, there are characteristics of males and females. Males and females are those people who are confined to their more base desires. These desires come by way of mis-education, generational dysfunction, mind control or a combination of these influences whether imposed externally from the environment or internally. Females and males live out their lives rising no higher than these imposed limitations of their being. This results in emotional immaturity, a lack of responsibility, a lack of discipline, a lack of spiritual development and a lack of mental acumen.

A Woman and Man are those females and males that have evolved beyond base existence into knowledge of self. These are the ones who have eliminated, controlled or minimized their negatives, vices or dysfunctions. Women and Men are the more mentally and emotionally healthy people (and can be physically but not necessarily all the time). Ultimately, Women and Men are on the way to manifesting their respective divine attributes. For Women, that being the Divine Feminine and for Men that is the Divine Masculine. Both are corresponding compliments of the dual faces of God consciousness.

The attributes of males are as follows: lacking integrity, dis-honest, senseless carnality, irresponsibility, fear based, ego-maniacal, anger issues, delusional, undisciplined, irrational emotions, ignorance, low self esteem, an overall lack of spiritual cultivation...

These negative male traits manifest in the following behaviors: Abusive (physical, verbal and sexual), addictions, cowardice, misogyny, machoist lack of emotions, obnoxiousness, easily manipulated, selfishness, inconsiderate, sexually deviant, greed, oppressive, domineering, victimization, materialism, jealousy, envy, spiritual disorientation, senseless violence, and spiritual vampirism, depression, self hate...

The following are the more destructive end results of these negative traits in males we see everyday: pimps, giggalos, leeches, drug dealers, drug abusers, rapists, sexists, pedophiles, herd mentality follower...

Some of the attributes of females are as follows: Low self esteem, depression, selfishness, egoism, conceit, anger issues, delusional, addictions, senseless carnality, self hate, lack of discipline, fearful...

These negative traits of females manifest in the following behaviors: vanity, helplessness, victim mentality, verbal, emotional and physical/sexual abusiveness, materialism, sexism, vindictiveness, arrogance, obnoxiousness, jealousy, greed, envy...

The following are some of the more extreme end results of these negative traits in females we see everyday: so-called “gold diggers” (although males are just as if not bigger gold diggers), followers or herd mentality, prostitutes, physical self mutilation, drug or alcohol addicts...

It should be noticed that males and females predominantly have the same negative emotional and mental issues however due to societal norms, at times these negatives are expressed differently. Also it must be noted that the behaviors and end results of each category are not indicative of all males and females but the extremes of each. At the least, most males and females are mere followers of their physical impulses and mind control. They’re all not evil or completely worthless. They are harmless, decent people but people who just have a myriad of issues and are in need of development.

Some attributes of MEN are: Integrity, courage, honesty, discipline (both mental and physical), intelligence, spiritual, empathetic, balanced, self love, humility...

These mental attributes of MEN manifest in the following behaviors: Introspection, (general) morality, empathy, forgiving, intellectualism, peaceful, loyalty, dignity, generosity, initiative, humbleness, responsibility...

Some of the roles in a society that MEN take up are: Fathers, husbands, builders, protectors, community representatives, business owners, law givers, revolutionaries, activists, artists, warriors, shamens, doctors, philosophers, scientists...

The attributes of WOMEN are: Intelligence, unconditional love, integrity, honesty, courage, nurturing, considerate, humility, empathetic, discipline (both mental and physical), self love, balanced...

These attributes in WOMEN result in the following behaviors: Humbleness, (general) morality, dignity, self reflection, generosity, forgiving, discipline, responsibility, loyalty...

Some of the roles that WOMEN take up are: Mothers, wives, community representatives, judges, artists, law givers, teachers, doctors, nurses (& midwives), social engineers, business owners, revolutionaries, activists, philosophers, sages, scientists...

One must understand that not all Men and Women are righteous perfect beings, many struggle with their negatives. The difference is Women and Men confront their issues and have the information, knowledge and courage to face their issues and eradicate them or control them. Women and Men have much more control over their negatives and thus can go through an issue or problem and come out of it healthier. Males and females will continue to not only wrestle with their issues, but they may not come out of their negatives with an answer....some do not come out at all.


If there is ever going to be a healthy dialogue between Black males/Men and Black females/Women it must start with love, honesty, respect and proper identification of all behaviors. Just as important there must be a hard analysis of the environmental factors that create or enables the myriad of our issues. This type of dialogue must take place between Women and Men or at least females and males wanting to evolve into Women and Men. All destructive titles and names such as “nigga”, “bitch”, “hoes”, “dogs”, “sluts”, “tricks”, etc must be absent in the dialogue for the utterance of these words out of their proper context will pollute the communication. This dialogue must be taken serious for this is a serious situation we are forced to deal with. The gender schism in our community threatens our ability to create healthy Afrikan families. Any and all future discussions directed at building a new paradigm of gender relationships in our community must be controlled and carefully directed. Meaning that those who do not wish to unite Afrikan people, or those who engage in negativity, divisiveness and destructive positions simply cannot participate. We need positive input, solutions and most of all healing, not side agendas and distractions.

The first and most important unity is between the woman and man.