Sunday, June 21, 2009

Afrikan Fatherhood (a discussion on Fathers Day)

The Masculine Divine is an aspect of the Creative Force of the Universe and interacts with the Feminine Divine of the Creative Force of the Universe. On this day Fathers Day there needs to be a dialogue on what is Fatherhood.

To tell the truth, I, FX don't least first hand what makes a Father, a healthy GOOD Father. A sista friend of mine asked the same question: "What exactly is a good father?". It took me a while to think of the answer and concluded that since I'm not a Father and my own experiences with my father I had to admit....I don't know. But I thought about it and did a little bit of analysis and realized that what makes a Father is much of the same aspects that make a Man. So I took a shot at it and threw something together real quick while I was at work. Initially I was going to post this in my homegirls' comment section on her Facebook page but as you can see, it's too dang long. I usually define things precisely within a sentence or two but this subject requires elaboration mainly due to the condition of Afrikan people in regards to familyhood.

Understand I speak a different language than you all, so semantics may come into play in some disagreements.

Essentialy Fatherhood is the fulfillment of a few roles.

King Father (as a compliment to the Queen Mother) - A Father engages not just his biological children but all children in his universe and claims them under his loving protecting reach. He does not discriminate as he is father to his DAUGHTERS as well as his sons. There is no favoritism and treats, respects and serves Women, Men, Elders and others equally within the soverignty of his universe.

Teacher - A Father teaches his children all aspects of the world they live in and how to navigate away from the traps. He teaches his daughters and sons the elements they need so they will be devoid of the value system of the world ie: bigotry, sexism, white supemacy, Black inferiority and self hate, selfishness, greed, materialism etc. A father teaches his children about who and what they are, their history, heritage, culture etc.. Within that, he instills in his children morality, integrity and inelligence....basically the spirituality of Knowledge of Self. A Father also corrects negative behaviour with a fair yet stern correction. This is done out of love and the desire for the child to do and be better not to humiliate the child nor fuck up the development of their self esteem.

Warrior - A Father builds the universe for his children (Family) and protects his family and everything within the family's universe. His children will not be a victim to any of the world's evils as the father stands guard at the forefront of their childrens virtue and innocence. Also throw in there that a father keeps himself healthy and serves as a role model through action how to keep the body healthy.

Husband, Lover - A Father shows unconditional love to the enitre family. He teaches his daughter and son how a man should treat a woman with respect, reverence and healthy eroticism by example. That way a girl will have an idea what to expect in terms of relationship as she engages men and separates them from mere males. The boy learns the value of his mother, sister etc by understanding womanhood in general and how to engage womanhood without the vulgarity, sexism, mysogyny, abuse and ego projection. In fact, both the girl and boy are taught to be emotionally mature and devoid of the negative mindsets mentioned.

Essentially a Father's role is to provide, produce, protect for his immediate and extended family. He raises his daughters as well as his sons and loves them and teaches them equally. Most of all a father is a man of integrity, honesty, courage, patience, intelligence and love and he manifests these qualities through ACTION not just words. Overall Fathers are another form of nurturing.

Fathers do the following:

They live by positive example. ie. don't yell at the child not to smoke then turn around and light up...right in front of the child.

Fathers walk their children to school and talk with the teachers, principals, janitors about their child (and other childrens) education and care. That is if the Father hasn't opened up an indepenent school himself.

Fathers sacrifice for their children.

Fathers make time for their children. Fuck the game.

Fathers do not humiliate their children nor step on their self esteem.

It's ok for a Father to help their daughters with whatever their daughters need, even if it means fixing their little girls hair if Mama is bogged down with something. Trust me it's not "gay" to do your daughters hair.

Fathers reward their children for the things they do that are exemplary or when they exhibit good behaviour (without compromising the childs sincerity).

A Father helps with the childs education, homework, science fair projects, etc. Fathers embody and stress mental acumen, intelligence and helps to sharpen developing skills/talent.

A Father teaches his children how to be a husband or what a husband is by the healthy, positive way he engages the Mother (or his wife).

A Father teaches his children all spects of spirituality, how the children relate to the Creator, how to meditate, proper diet, exercise and their people's culture and history (whether that particular family be Black, caucasian, Indian, Arab, Asian, Southern Indigenous etc.) but this is especially for Afrikan Men.

A Father thinks outside the box of society and teaches his children how to think.

Fathers don't babysit their own damn children! If the child is from the Father it's not babysitting, it's simply being with family.

Fathers burn down and destroy anything and anybody that threatens the lives of their children. PERIOD.

I may have forgotten some things but that's what I can pull together. A lot of details are entailed in these roles. I may have missed some or repeated others but whatever.

1 comment:

  1. Brother FX although you have no biological children. It looks like you have Fathrhood down. You have the tools to be a good father once you find a Queen to share your life with.

    Sista Safia